The Saurus

wow, I havent been here in a while, I tried to, but I'm a bit of a procrastinator, though actually that wouldn't be the right word, anyone have a theaurus? I believe its just physics, call it mental inertia, even just inertia, call it anything you want, the fact is that I haven't been updating my BLOG since January and now its April, well first there was Chinese New Year, and then there was the election, and then there was being locked up with two different clients for 4 weeks in a row, and then there was the week where everything at home turned all strange, like a bad trip on LSD, my wife discovered my blog, At first I didn't worry too much after all there is nothing about wild sex, booze and rock'n'roll all weekend parties or anything really, until she blurted out that she was upset that I insulted her mother, which was really strange to me coz I didn't think there was any cause to be upset about, I even read it again just to be sure, and of course if i tried hard to focus on one incidental side-plot of a long long rambling story about almost nothing and try and read the worst into it then sure, it is definitely possible to be upset.

Now of course, I could be just insensitive, which I'm not, I accepted and understood that she was upset, she had as much right to be upset, just as I have as much right to well..write in this blog. I personally thought it was unreasonable to have such a reaction, after all why didn't she focus on the positives, like I was busy and tired and still drove 300km? or that I was such a gracious 'guest' that it took you reading this blog to figure out what was even in my head? or even that you have the opportunity to have a glimpse on what is going on in there.

Now this of course put me off writing here, do I need to practice self censorship? do I have to walk on tippy toes within the confines of the screen as you read it? I didn't want to, after all this is MY space (not to be confused with myspace) and I'll cry if I want to. So here I am back again and ready to tell my stories wether anyone is listening or not is of course another matter.

So to clear the air and set the record straight...
"I'm sorry I saw your mother put her hand deep into a plastic of rubbish and without washing serve food, this has traumatized me, not to mention the three days of or the runnies (and squirties) that same weekend"

So there, finally its public. Which is exactly what is wrong with this planet, no one wants the truth, or even likes it, sure they say "Oh I appreciate your honesty" or "All I want is a man who can be honest with me" ah thats all bull crap, everyone wants to be lied to, to be told what they want to hear. I wish it wasn't this way, I really love honesty like if someone tells me I'm a dickhead, sure its upsetting for like all of two seconds, but then comes the time for self-reflection.

Oops, I see now... the truth requires self reflection, so if you dont like yourself, you have truth issues. hmmm I wonder what that would look like as a math formula. After all math is the truth, and if you dont like that well you can go the way of the dinosaurs. A from thesaurus to tyrannosuarus, haha now thats genius....