Thursday, 25 December 2008

Not Guilty!

Had a eureka moment earlier today, well eureka isn't the right word for it, but I cant figure out the word, even though I've checked the thesaurus. Now I like to consider myself a bit of an empath, I can 'feel' other peoples feelings, whether they are sad. happy, concerned, whatever.
So I cry at sad movies, and weddings and funerals because I absorb the overwhelming emotion, captured and channelled within that moment. Yet at times I don't feel anything, and one of these feelings include guilt. So you can say I live a guilt free life, which when you think about it that's a pretty good way to live. Actions are driven by logical decisions, and if I can justify it to myself, it doesn't worry me. I don't need to feel bad about ANYTHING!
However its a fine line against living guilt free and being a psychopath.... think about it, I can justify hacking someone up and putting them in a fridge and not feel guilty.. Ohh thats scary even for me!
So where do I draw the line? Whose line is it anyway. I think this is the struggle within myself, everything I do has to be analyzed, cause and effect, right and wrong, strategy and draw my own line. So I figured this is the curse of the empath, by having to filter every feeling that's coming at them, so only essential and critical feelings are felt, have to filter their own feelings too. So whenever I screw up, sure its my fault, but I still say I'm not guilty. So there!