Now I happen to rely on my mum to pick up Kimi from nursery, and I do let her because its a great convenience for me, my mum enjoys her time with her only grandkid and he enjoys her company (read: money she spends on anything he asks for), so having her not so well with lots of doctors appointments, well I have to do what I'm supposed to do. Not that its hard work, contrary it is quite the opposite, but with several work deadlines looming large and no one in the office can get things to my level of expectations, losing several hours of work a day means you need to catch up, and maybe work through weekends and holidays except that I only have Sundays now and the wiill be away for the week of which she looses her phone, an N76 dropping it somewhere near our house, goes off to buy a N82, then just happens to get robbed at 'parang'point the very next day, losing her very new and shiny N82 and a fairly substantial amount of Ringgits. The robber is 'nice' enough to return her credit cards and IC and License, and not cut her up, all of this happening 4 hours before she is supposed to board a flight to Switzerland, leaving me alone with Kimi for several days that seem like months. On her return her car still not painted, which means I need to ferry her about, which isn't bad except she decides to treat me like shit because 1. she has jetlag and has been on a plane for 12 hours and 2. her car paint isn't done and 3, she got robbed, which when you think about it none of which is my fault and this jetlag seems to be dragging on for almost a week now. January is of course coming to an end and I was hoping things would taper off but a very pissed of client, of course it wasn't me who pissed them off, it was my boss coz well he just pisses everyone off, has decided to give us 8 hours notice to start work, in three different states, two being in East Malaysia further adding to my 'wheres the money woes' and the finance manager is well, 'not coming back for a while' leaving lil ol me to get everyones salary done. I was just beginning to enjoy my latest salary increase, although two years overdue, was fairly substantial for the work I was 'doing'. Now most people would be sad and depressed, and as you know I have experienced the seven levels of sadness, and can only 'rejoice' that, 1. my mum is still alive and in fighting spirits, 2. My wife is still alive, though I might not feel that way for long if she keeps acting like I stole her damn phone and 3. None of the above shit actually happened to me, it happened to people close to me, which I have all the empathy for of course, but not actually to me, meaning that I should be happy because 1. I dont have cancer, 2. I didnt get robbed, 3. I dont have any car loans 4. I still have my phone and 5. I had the best week with Kimi spending lots of time with him.
Now this may seem out of character to someone who is melancholic and depressive, which really I am, maybe I am secretly bathing in the misfortune of others, maybe I have learned to cope and fight, or maybe I'm cured. I dont know, you tell me, Im past self reflection, let others judge me.
Now everyone has the benefit of hindsight, few have foresight, I can tell you that I do, not because I like to brag or feel special but because I do. We know are parents are going to die on us, we know we will die on our children, life is short as it is, its time to stop being angry at the people we love and care about. Now of course this realization is indeed a license to live as we please, in the moment, and only care about ourselves. Living in the moment? fine all good with that, but lets make each moment one where others who know us are proud and those who don't, respect.
