mad max and the 7 levels of sadness

Strike 3

2010-05-02T02:59:00.003+08:00

you have disrespected me for the last time.

1. destroying my sample work from client
2. shouting at me in front of people during our wedding
3. walking in at 2:00am without a hello and throwing dishes in the sink noisily.

I had no idea the person you are, yet if I call you out, you get pissed off? hey I'm not perfect, but at least I don't act like I am.
You don't even see it but half the time the kids have no idea why you are shouting at them, you can't even see their bewilderment, at least if they are getting it from me they know exactly why.
you probably don't read this anymore but why should I care about your feelings when its oh so obvious you have zero respect for mine, but guess what... I'm not going to do your laundry anymore...and I never will again, and you won't even know why.

Seriously? dont be a hypocrite, and treat others the same way you expect to be treated, dont act like an effing princess, coz you aint one!

2009-10-05T11:29:00.002+08:00

Yang boleh tahan tu tak pe, yang tak boleh tahan yang takut tu!

Getting your age from your IC number

2009-09-30T16:49:00.001+08:00

(Year(Today())) - ((Combine(19, Left(RHBKKK._03_IC, 2))))

Which doesnt handle anyone if they're born on yr 2000 or higher, will need an if statement for that.

Nested IF statement for Lotus Approach

2009-09-30T16:45:00.003+08:00

Used this to set the age group based ages.

If(RHBKKK._8_Age < 10, 'Kanak-Kanak',
(If(RHBKKK._8_Age >= 10 and RHBKKK._8_Age <= 14, 'Awal Remaja',
(If(RHBKKK._8_Age >= 15 and RHBKKK._8_Age <= 17, 'Remaja',
(If(RHBKKK._8_Age >= 18 and RHBKKK._8_Age <= 19, 'Lewat Remaja',
(If(RHBKKK._8_Age >= 20 and RHBKKK._8_Age <= 59, 'Dewasa',
(If(RHBKKK._8_Age >= 60 and RHBKKK._8_Age <= 74, 'Awal Warga Emas', 'Lewat Warga Emas'
)))))))))))

Note that the end paranthesis is 2n-1, where n= number of ifs.

Not Guilty!

2008-12-25T17:28:00.003+08:00

Had a eureka moment earlier today, well eureka isn't the right word for it, but I cant figure out the word, even though I've checked the thesaurus. Now I like to consider myself a bit of an empath, I can 'feel' other peoples feelings, whether they are sad. happy, concerned, whatever.
So I cry at sad movies, and weddings and funerals because I absorb the overwhelming emotion, captured and channelled within that moment. Yet at times I don't feel anything, and one of these feelings include guilt. So you can say I live a guilt free life, which when you think about it that's a pretty good way to live. Actions are driven by logical decisions, and if I can justify it to myself, it doesn't worry me. I don't need to feel bad about ANYTHING!
However its a fine line against living guilt free and being a psychopath.... think about it, I can justify hacking someone up and putting them in a fridge and not feel guilty.. Ohh thats scary even for me!
So where do I draw the line? Whose line is it anyway. I think this is the struggle within myself, everything I do has to be analyzed, cause and effect, right and wrong, strategy and draw my own line. So I figured this is the curse of the empath, by having to filter every feeling that's coming at them, so only essential and critical feelings are felt, have to filter their own feelings too. So whenever I screw up, sure its my fault, but I still say I'm not guilty. So there!

0811301445

2008-11-30T14:45:00.000+08:00

Bye mom!

waiting for the wrong answer

2008-11-30T05:28:00.001+08:00

Back in KL now, thank god I took Shahrul along, slept all the way to Taiping and half of the way back. Everyone has settled in and is sleeping, Theres a patrol car driving up and down my street, I wonder what for? I can't tell if my mum is sleeping or awake, her eyes are like they are open, but there is no response, what if she's cold, or hot? Now is just the waiting.

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Not long but still far to go

2008-11-30T05:21:00.001+08:00

So back in KL, imigration was so easy, had some chicken rice on the way back before heading to my dad's house. Mom isn't doing to well, her breathing is heavy, and sometimes stops. I know its not long now, I still need to head to Taiping, hope she'll still be around when I come back. Kimi's breaking up on the phone, he can't stop crying, maybe he's just absorbing the sadness or maybe its about something else.

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Time to Go

2008-11-30T03:36:00.001+08:00

Had to cut my trip short, I'm a bit dissapointed that I was unable to complete what I was sent there to do, but I am pretty confident my team can handle it as long as they practice, I knew this day was coming, and was just hoping that it wouldnt be while I was away. I got the news that my mom had a few days left, if lucky a week and a bit. So I got an SIA flight down to SG and am now in the boarding area for my flight to KL. SIA on-line booking is absolutely awesome and to be honest I cant say I miss France, I was a total mess most of the way, almost breaking down when I was checking in to the SIA flight at Paris-CDG, knowing that I was on my way home and had made the flight I booked only hours earlier.

The flight wasnt bad, it was a lot of falling in and out of sleep, drinking, eating and peeing and watching a couple of movies. So I'm almost home, I would be releived under other circumstances, but I still have to pick up the family in Taiping, and then just keep waiting for the day when I say goodbye to my mother. I don't know how I'm going to feel, I'm sure I can stick my head in the sand during the arrangements, keeping my head full and my hands busy, but what about after that? What about those minutes where you find yourself alone, even in a crowd of people, like right now. Flight is boarding, time to go.

Its not all glamour

2008-11-26T13:04:00.001+08:00

I'm in the Formule 1 hotel, though glamarous as it may sound, its not, with seperate showers and toilets, its my place to stay for the next three days. Its cold in the room, though the radiator is on high and I think that the flu I had which I never completely recovered from is coming back. Had some microwave rice for dinner which I can only describe as 'tastes like cat biscuits' so I finnally settled for a choco bar for dinner. I'm guessing it's more of the same tomorrow, to be honest I can't wait to leave here, unfortunately I have 10 days more. I don't know, maybe when I change hotels again on Friday it will be better, I doubt so. Oh well, may the cup be half full.

Not under the bridge

2008-11-26T02:06:00.002+08:00

Good news and bad news, the good news is.... we got our hotels, the bad news is.... we got our hotels, after worrying all night, and not liking the thought of leaving for Amsterdam then Malaysia due to having nowhere to stay, we will be moving to the F1 Hotel, and continuing work tomorrow, pictures of course to follow. So looks like we'll be here at least to the 5th. oh well, work is work and a man got to do what a man got to do, no matter how cold or tired he is.

Finally got some chicken beriyani and Indian tea today, belly nice and full, and took a bus back from the restaurant to Rue de Navel, which has nothing to do with belly buttons. So new things everyday, hopefully this weekend can finally get some decent shoes looking a bit like a vagabond with a suit and sneakers, well hiking shoes really, well at least I'll not be sleeping under a bridge.

Confirmed...Subject to Availability

2008-11-25T06:41:00.001+08:00

In Brest, France right now, and let's say its a bit confusing, having to learn some basic french el pronto, or should I say rapide. I'll be kicked out of my hotel tomorrow, as they are full, and may not be able to get another one and have no idea where I'll be spending the night tomorrow. I'm a bit tired, and it's very cold. Well maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

Its very strange though as we had 'First Class' tickets on the TGV from Paris to Brest, but they were 'only if seats available'. I mean fine if its cattle class, but on First Class, you really do expect to have a seat.

I hate haters

2008-11-25T06:35:00.004+08:00

I haven't blogged in a while, this was due to the fact that the blog was commented on by a hater, I'm sure I had a run in with the same guy on some forum, cause he was pointed out for lack of forum decorum and netiquette, and decided to get his revenge here. At first I was of two minds whether to let the comments stay or to remove, I'm all for free speech and everything but it is 'my' blog and this guy didnt know me.

It wasnt that he was rude or sweared a lot, and some things taken in contect and if he was a good friend, I might actually find funny, but the rule we should live by on the internet should be, and I got this from TWiT, that you should only comment on a blog what you would say if that person sat beside you, so all this kind of put me off blogging for a while.

I had already decided to restart again, but as ususal procrastination put me off, but I'm in a taxi travelling from Cartagena to Alicante, using Qumana, which is a free offline blogging tool, which means I can write when I'm offline, when and where I want to. Now just in case you get confused, the last post before this one was this one, there may be a few ones that appear to be in between them but, thats because they are written retroactively.

Anyway Ive got nothing against negative comments, sure I can agree that this is all nothing more than incessant ramblings of me, so if I think you would say it to my face then I'll probably keep it, and with all the things wrong with this world there really is no room for negativity and hate, which is why I really hate haters.

IA BBQ 2008

2008-11-01T19:16:00.000+08:00

Was time for the IA annual BBQ, instead of having it at a house we, well rather I decided to have it in Ulu Langat, it's just off our usual Kuala Kelawang route which means we can have a run back, unfortunately by being at a restaurant means we have a fixed time, which has itself its own Pros and Cons, so anyway the restaurant is Cafe Lui which happens to belong to and run by the family of old school friends and neighbours, who I was reacquaintanced with, only a few weeks prior.

Heres the photos from the BBQ, well at least my photos, for others you can check out the IA site or the IA Facebook site.

Nokia N93i from the point of view of a Canon Ixus 80IS

2008-10-14T12:07:00.001+08:00

Houston! We have a problem...

2008-10-13T16:49:00.002+08:00

Life was good, finances were getting better, debt was down, baby on the way, check was good, err wait a minute, Houston! we have a problem!... oops wife had to check in to Ampang Putri for observation and to get her hemoglobin levels up. She was on the phone, I was bored, tried a few camera tricks.

Theres more where that came from, but I'll save that for a rainy day, oh and I really dread Ampang Putri, its busy, expensive and the service sucks like a Dyson, though I really would love one of those, definitely looks like it belongs in space.

2 is now 3 and the party pack arms race.

2008-10-10T16:30:00.003+08:00

Kimi had his belated birthday party at his nursery, he is now 3. Before he came along I could never imagine my life with kids, now that he's here I could never imagine my life without him, and since the flavour of the season is Ultraman of course he would want an Ultraman Cake. This was ordered a week in an advance, wasn't so lucky with the party packs though, had to shop for them that very morning, I can't understand why but I'm so competitive at those, if a parent hands out 2 bar Kit Kats, I remember that and make sure I get a four bar one, or even up the ante and get a Snickers Bar. Luckily I have noticed that after a previous escalation, things have been scaled back for a while, so this year should be a breeze. Its also a wonder how much he has changed since his last birthday. My dad said he was jealous that I could be his best friend and also his dad too, well lets just say that effort was effortless, creating party packs that mean something and that kids drop their jaws at every item pulled out of the bag? thats hard work, but the satisfaction in priceless. Pictures explain it all. Surprisingly the Ultraman Cake was pretty good too!

320=298

2008-10-07T11:44:00.004+08:00

Just picked up a Maxtor 320GB drive, except its actually a 298GB drive...can't they just call it a 298GB drive, after all who is going to use the disk unformatted? oh well I lost 20GB, my first hard disk was 20MB..... How times have changed. Its pretty good, I'm transferring all my media files to this, and will use the 160GB just to hold movies to be played on the Mac Mini. Also the net has been pretty fast today.... I wonder why....

1000 kilometers

2008-10-05T14:12:00.002+08:00

Well almost! Just came back from a round trip drive to Taiping, left at just before 6 got there at just after 9pm. Slept for a few hours then drove back, now with family in tow. I still can't believe I arrived back in KL at sunrise. Daym, that was a long drive. Went straight to bed and woke up at 12.

NH4NO3 + Al2(SO4)3

2008-10-04T04:41:00.002+08:00

I can't stand it anymore, it's everywhere, burned into my physce. It follows me everywhere, it's on my hands, on my clothes, in my nose, making me feel sick and nauseous, making me hate and despise what I shouldn't.
Will it ever go away? Can it go away? Will this be the memory marker, triggering associated memories forever? I hope not yet I think so. I can handle all bar this. It permeates, overwhelmes, and overtakes. Everything it touches takes on it's rotten persona destroying what was once good.

A day off

2008-10-03T22:59:00.002+08:00

I had a day off today, a real day off. 24 hours of unadulterated me time. No kids, no work, no wife, no hospitals, no phone, no internet, no email, no anything and no nothing.
It felt really really good. Pity it has to end, but any more would be irresponsible. Like that time I had an earthquake at Svenson's. Now just in case you have never been to a Svenson's or understand the connection to catacalysmic natural disasters measured in Reichters, an earthquake is 21 scoops of different flavours. I thought I could eat it and I did eat it and finish it, the greedy bastard that I am.
Luckily I was tweenager at the time, so it worked off pretty quickly.
Some things we must do to stay sane. Taking a day off did it for me. I even had some ice cream. It was a very good day.

Selamat Hari Raya!

2008-10-03T10:10:00.001+08:00

Oh thanks boo_licious for the image, check out her blog here

The wheels on the bus go round and round

2008-10-01T18:55:00.000+08:00

We were doddling around the hospital relaxing and chatting with my mum, when we realised that we were late for the bus, well I wasn't late, I wasn't getting on the bus, the other half and kimi were going back to her kampung for raya, so I could spend and commit time with my mum, Kimi's never been on a bus, so was a little exited. Cars, trains, planes and boats...all been there done that for him, now was the time for his first bus ride.
We werent watching the clock, or rather not watching it very well when we realised we had about 7 minutes to get from HUKM to Pudu Raya. Got everyone strapped in, and asked the wife, how bad she wanted to catch the bus, I got the OK, maxed out the rev meter from HUKM, through the SMART tunnel, Jalan Ampang, sped through town, avoiding pedestrians and other cars by centimeters, I could see the fear on the faces crossing the road, as i went sideways through junctions in the centre of KL, engine revving, tyres screeching. Using the horn would faze my concentration as I threaded my way, running red lights and avoiding cars coming from left and right.
Parked with two minutes to spare, carried Kimi across the road to Pudu Raya, using the large luggage bag as a shield as cars came towards me. Went down the platform, the sound of the diesel buses, the people shouting, the smoke, Kimi hugged me tight and said "Daddy, I'm scared", so I told the wife to find her bus, and I turned my attention to Kimi to calm him down, second later I was running towards my wife as she signalled her found bus, we scrambled on board, only for the bus driver to tell us we'd be leaving 20 minutes late. So I handed my wife the secret Kimi survival pack containing his favourite (yet healthy) snacks and drinks and toys, claiming that she wouldn't need it, took it hesitantly, spent the next 10 minutes, playing peekaboo at the bus window, pretending to be a dinosaur attacking the bus, and other stuff. Iwas a little teary eyed, as the bus moved away and could see him mouth "Daddy!, I want my daddy!", he left me, he's gone, now I have to change my focus, be with mom, but guess who was a happy boy?

and he finished his survival pack too. I guess the wheels on the bus of life really do go round and round

Empty Rooms

2008-09-30T12:30:00.000+08:00

I've always hated Raya, everyone leaves during Raya, the hospital is empty too, seeing the empty corridors just reminds me on how empty and alone each of us really are when facing our own demons. Maybe I'll make an effort this year or the next, see my cousins, aunts uncles, nieces and nephews. This raya in HUKM, next raya in KL, will be sending everyone back on the bus for Raya so I can dedicate my time to my mum.

A Tropical Paradise in unchartered waters

2008-09-29T11:09:00.003+08:00

Had to drive up to Lumut again for another meeting. I was determined to do something a little different this time, I just didn't know what.
I've probably driven to Lumut more than 100 times. I stop at the same places and eat at the same places. I've seen the road change many times and noticed all the new things that happen along the route.
On the way there I decided to make a quick detour. I remember seeing an Alfa 33 at a used car dealer and wanted to check it out. Sure I saw it many moons ago but decide to just take a chance anyway. Well the 33 wasn't there but there was an Alfa GTV sprint, It was in a condition that I can describe as looking it's age, and at Rm15k it wasn't a bargain you couldn't walk away from.
Got to Manjung and proceeded to buy lunch. It's so strange that the food is bungkused in black plastic bags. I mean what is it supposed to be? Maybe I walked in to a restaurant and walked out with a couple of DVD's?
So got through the meeting with the constant worry that things would fall through and finished with sometime to spare before dinner. Headed of to Billion which was having a sale, picked up a few things for Kimi and me and headed back to the Manjung office to kill some time before buka puasa, was hoping to get to Ah Choon's to get some crispy kalamari but it was closed, at which time I just decide to head back to KayEl and hope to find somewhere useful to eat along the way.
For years and years I remember always passing a restaurant near the Bidor toll, and always telling myself to check out. In the desert of bad food, this place, aptly named Coconut Island, is an oasis of good cooking and fresh ingredients. I'll update soon enough, hopefully with photos as i'll be back there soon.

Photos update

drip drip drop

2008-09-27T02:00:00.000+08:00

At the hospital tonight, just waiting on the drip to run out and be there if need be, its hard being here, its hard seeing your parent falling down a slippery slope, and you having to take care of them, not difficult physically, while draining, it's just hard, coz you can't imagine that this is the way its supposed to be. Well where there is light... there is hope, unfortunately darkness lives on the edge of the light.

Babainanabrades

2008-09-27T01:45:00.001+08:00

Well, at least that's what kimi said. My mom's two closest brothers, travelled here a few weeks ago, just to spend time with their sister, my mom.
Usually we would take them around, Langkawi, Pangkor, Tioman, etc. but that wasn't why they were here. They were here unknown to them to most probably say their goodbyes. It seemed surreal at first, while they were hugging and kisssing, my mom bawling her eyes out, but I guess she knew.
It was silent in the car halfway to the airport, and them we started to chat about mundane things like cars, tolls and airplanes like men do. We talked all through parking, check-in, and waiting..
Then their flight opened on the screen, it was time to go. The conversation turned to what was unsaid, with what being implied being heard.
So goodbye and have a nice flight, if we meet again, things will probably be different, no matter which way the pendulum swings. It is as they say... an end of an era, without the need to say it.

ixus 80 missus

2008-09-26T16:55:00.000+08:00

Bought a Canon Ixus 80IS as a surprise belated birthday present for the missus, in pretty pink too, got it at Ampang Park from a dude who's been there for ages and always as good deals, so from a list of RM999 I got it down to RM896, while adding a 4GB High Speed SD Card, a leather pouch and a few other interesting accessories. She liked it very much, it's so much fun to see the look on her face when she's suprised and happy.
Sure theres an 85IS and a 90IS but the reviews online seem to point to their predecessor being better, something about too many pixels on the CCD

heres the camera from the view of a N93i

and some test photos

I didn't know cows came in black?!

2008-09-23T16:03:00.000+08:00

Went to check on my custom leather seats. Ooh aah! Can't wait till their fitted, just hope their comfortable, with built in fans, and custome padding, I hope they are, will make the pug look good too, well I hope. So what do you think?

Driving me insane...

2008-09-20T05:46:00.005+08:00

It was time for my annual insanity drive, this is the second year Ive done this, this years turnout was better than last years, last year was 3 people...3 cars, this year I had 7 people in 4 cars. Met up with everyone at Dunkin Donuts at the Sg Besi Toll at 10:15, left around 10:30, headed to Seremban, which is surprisingly near when you are not in a hurry, then to Kuala Kelawang where it feels strange and eerie heading into a town just before midnight and all the petrol stations are closed, we stopped for coffee and a bite, and left around midnight and headed through the mountain pass through to Ampang ensuring to be in the 'middle of nowhere' during 'the middle of the night'

Heres what it looks like, it's not that its dangerous, or theres no cellphone coverage, or that its been the scene of body dumping in gruesome murders of washed out rock stars, whats scary is whats in your head, if you let yourself think, and imagine. that is how we drive ourselves insane, yet could be the only way to keep our sanity

Out of the box

2008-09-17T16:45:00.003+08:00

I bought myself an N93i a year ago, but after getting the screen replaced twice, and then having the shop crack the outer cover, I gave up and put in back in the box, I was quite happy with my 6650-Slide but it seemed such a waste, so I sent it for repair at my regular shop, now I bought this thing in Subang which is not my regular shop and you know what..... customer service in Malaysia still sucks, which is why I patronise only establishment who make an effort in customer service. So my regular shop is in Pandan and I have bought more than 10 phones from this guy, and recommend to friends and family and everyone is happy with him, so I decided finally to send the N93i for a final repair, before I splash out dough to by a new phone.

So I spent all of RM250, got the screen and case replaced, and again I am very happy with this guy, so happy in fact that I'll be buying two phones for other people before raya. If anyone wants his contact details I'll happily send them to you, but it is in Pandan Indah. So here it is being charged and transferring media while being photographed by my isight. The world is good again, I'm glad I took it out of the box.

The guitar solo is back

2008-09-17T03:17:00.002+08:00

Was watching MTV all last night, and there was a lot of rock on and I heard something I liked, a common theme that linked all the songs..... the guitar solo is back, sure its just some minor shredding, and scaling..... so will we see the return of the Guitar God?
Finally grunge and emo is dead, if I hear another emo song I'll kill myself! oh that's what emo is all about.

Twas discussing music a couple of days ago with a hip-hopper, and he was trying to summarize the spirit of emo, I said it was like goth but without the attitude, and he summed it up nicely as "mudah putus asa".... go figure.

Insomnia

2008-09-15T18:17:00.002+08:00

Ive been a bit melancholic lately, missing everyone, hoping to keep in touch with everyone I know, this seems to happen every ramadan, though it's probably down to low blood sugar which sends me in a downward spiral of depression and insomnia that feed of each other.

I probably haven't slept probably in days, which I really should, I'll try tonight. Ive armed myself with some chamomile tea, maybe it's kimi that keeps kicking me out of bed. I really need a solution for this, It was a hard struggle to get myself fairly normal, I can't keep showing up to work hours late, if I even bother looking like a zombie.

Day Trippin;

2008-08-28T15:43:00.002+08:00

Took a day trip to Terengganu, for a half hour meeting, Firefly is pretty good, its like come by, walk in, and take off, none of that one hour checkin crap, which is lucky for me as I got in late to the airport, got lost in the construction maze that is called Terminal 3, and made it on the plane just in time.

Bleagh!

2008-08-28T02:12:00.003+08:00

I really should be asleep, been on the net with my trusty Nokia 6500 Slide which I updated with Opera Mini 4.x, i say updated coz it came with 3.x but strangely that seemed to go all wonky where the menus would disappear into black blocks rendering useless, sort of like Windows 95 with IE3 and 100 IE windows open. So I downloaded opera mini, and its a hoot to use and was on it for hours doing useless stuff thats a waste of time. I've been melancholic for a couple of days, and the wintery weather wasn't helping much.

I should be asleep, I have an early morning flight to TGG tomorrow, but finding out your mother has a malignant brain tumor, despite chemo and radiotherapy, causing stroke like symptoms is the stuff that will keep you up at night. Its not fun, I'm just glad I always made time for her, I would pray for her to get better, but I haven't been on talking terms with God for a while and it seems bad to ask for something so selfish when there is war and famine and eco-degredation. You try to figure out what sort of divine retribution could be behind this, but it really is beyond our mere mortals, but that would be blaming God. I don't have an answer for this one. I dont have anything smart or funny or witty or even stupid to say. My dad is trying to create a sense of normalcy, which I'd rather just call denial. My sister (if you read this) get out of your self involvement and escapism and make some time.

Sure it will happen to everyone, everyone will go through this time, and for me the time is now, unfortunately its just all a bit Bleagh!

Backup vs Backdown

2008-08-26T12:48:00.003+08:00

Yes, after listening to a podcast at Macbreak Weekly, Ive finally decided to backup all my stuff, most of what's on my laptop I backup with Time Machine, but all my mp3s, m4vs, and photos are on external hard drives, that well need duplicated, So Ive started that today, even backing up my office server, which I haven't done so regularly, cant wait to get my new external drives and time machine running on the servers. OK gtg, will be back in after lunch, some office lunch was organised by my boss, since its coming to puasa, so he calls early this morning asks me to "arrange and that he might not be able to make it so can I pick up the bill too". Err not nicelah....claim dulu pun tak bayar habis lagi boss... ok will get photos after lunch....

Anyway went to Sari Ratu.... Some other blogger called boo_licious has a review, Oh she even picked the same look, but lighter... ah great minds think alike!...... and as suspected I had to pick up the bill. Sure its not a big deal, and I still can claim, but it's just not so nice to call people for lunch then not show up.... sure you have your thing to do, its not a sudden emergency, but if you commit, then show up, or else just don't bother.

Anyway to those who do pop in once in a while, don't forget to leave comments so I know you exist, and motivate me to write more useless crap. You might also notice that (well probably you won't so that's why I'm telling you) I'm updating my blog in the past, so I use my super duper time machine that I borrowed from Dr Who I'll be updating stories from the past as they happen, but in the future.. Don't worry, you'll figure it out. Just click on the arrows beside the month names on the left, and hopefully you might see something new. Unless you got me on RSS then no problemo.

Sucker!

2008-08-12T02:07:00.000+08:00

Apparently while waiting in the middle of nowhere for the tow truck, I was brutally attacked by a leech, luckily he/she was stealthy or he would surely be destroyed, evidence?

Exhibit A: Blood Stained Denim near a hole in my leg!

Torino, we have a problem

2008-08-10T18:26:00.001+08:00

Planned a great makan-makan trip to Temerloh via Kuala Kelawang, it was wet and slippery tho the rain had stopped, was driving in front and had reached town and ordered my Roti Love

when I noticed that one of us was missing, I few minutes later we got the call from a passerby that one of us was 'still on the hill.
had to turn back and wait hours and hours for the tow truck.... still missing that Patin Temerloh.... maybe next time.

No pictures, will remember to take lots of photos next time

8 out of 10 cats

2008-08-08T14:22:00.000+08:00

Ah crap , another month gone by with nothing to blog about, well nothing interesting at least, well I did finally pull out the ipod shuffle that my sister gave me for christmas in 2007, it a nice blue 1GB shuffle which I was so happy to get, until a week later when the wife comes back from work one day and hands me an 80GB ipod classic, "oh do you want this?", "its some funny gadget I got from a supplier as an apology" Err do I want it.. or do I want it, Now a RM1300+ mp3 player is not something I would buy, Ive bought a couple of USB drive/MP3 and had a
phillips/Nike for jogging that I got in exchange for citibank points I needed to finish when I cancelled my card (which is a whole other rant and rave on the ineptness of customer service in the country).

Well anyway the main reason I dusted off the unopened ipod shuffle, was to give to my mom, who apparently has to wait hours for the radiotherapy theatre, so I said I'll load it up with audiobooks, some BBC radio and some music, which is when I stumbled upon this gem...8 out of 10 cats, it really is the best of British topical humor, its like listening to the top news that is so funny I actually shit myself from laughing so hard, literally and figuratively, anyone with itunes can get the audio download there. If you haven't had stomach cramps and spontaneous release of fecal matter in a while, you really should... Its that good, even my mom was laughing out loud in the waiting room, and after a months in chemo, surgery and now radiotherapy, thats pretty good sound, 8 out of 10 cats recommend it! Oh and the ipod shuffle? sure it works, but its absolutely crap! might put the nike philips back into action, or get a nano, the shuffle is well for people who want an Ipod but can't really afford one, there great for christmas presents too, for people, who you feel obligated to buy presents for.... Thanks Sis! 8 out of 10 cats agree with me too.... Do it! Download it! Now!

Water water everywhere but not a drop to drink

2008-08-07T17:32:00.002+08:00

Havent had water at my house for 25 hours, after investigation, find out that I have a split in the main pipe, which could explain why the water bills were so hight. So my contractor is here, and I would recommend him to anyone, as he is quite a godsend, and he's fixing it.

Two hours later and after replacing my main pipes, I still have no water, if i'm lucky, which I'm not, it will be a leak in a pipe heading to the kitchen, which means it a fairly simple detour and no wall hacking

Travel Log #3251

2008-08-05T17:54:00.004+08:00

Drove up to Penang, wife had a meeting and I thought I would tour the Island with Kimi, see butterfly park, snake temple etc etc, Little did I know that he'd prefer to just hang about the hotel, stayed at Equatorial, which is a very nice hotel, I think he liked the Koi pond, and the garden and the waterfall swimming pool. I liked it too, I also liked the fact that you used your room key to access parking, thats smart. I will definitely be back heres some photos, coz whats a blog without photos.

Rope Suspension Bridge

Relaxing In the Room

Koi Pond

Tropical Garden

A Very Cold Boy After A Very Long Swim

A walk with destiny

2008-07-27T20:00:00.002+08:00

Kids make you do strange things, and its fun living through them, we can do all the things we wanted to or did as a kid, and use them as a great excuse, I remember I used to walk everywhere, and maybe cycle as well, there was nothing wrong with walking, you would discover places you have never been to or never stopped to look at usually. So one day Kimi decided to go for a walk, he actually wanted to walk to Ampang Point, which is possible except for traffic that has little tolerance let alone respect for pedestrians, I didn't actually think we'd walk out of the apartment complex, but I was glad I gave in to him, against my parental judgement, braving traffic we took a walk, as I let him guide me to where I wanted to go, we walked through some quite backroads, mainly to tire him out, so we didnt get to Ampang Point and have an early sleep, and I discovered a pretty good restaurant so near my house, somewhere that I had overlooked, speeding on by. It's good to take a walk, see what you usually wouldn't see, being too busy and rushing, Its even better to take a walk with your kids, It was a good hour, that kept him occupied, picking up fur leaves and cones, looking for guppies in watery drains, spotting blue cars that drove past by, things we take forgranted every day. I'm glad I listened to him.....

Something smells in the Kingdom of Denmark

2008-07-09T16:58:00.000+08:00

Ah Durian, I like durian, as long as its fresh. Not durian ice cream, or pengat or tempoyak, now all that is fine but sometimes we humans can just go to far.......

Durian Smoothie Anyone?

err... definitely not for me

Pots & Pans

2008-07-08T17:52:00.000+08:00

Was at the office with a mild headache, its closing time, and didn't know what to do, so decided to rant about my pet peeves so here I select pet peeve #3079, washing dishes.... If there's one household chore I don't mind doing, well actually I don't mind doing any of them, as long as you don't call them chores. Who on earth decided on the word 'chores', I mean it's like setting a predisposition that the task at hand is going to be a CHORE to do, plus it rhymes with BORE, which isn't helpful either, I mean what is up with that? In fact until I moved back to .MY I had never ever heard the word chore in that context, it wasn't until I started watching American family sitcoms/dramas/tv in general that I heard the word 'chore'

If a parent was angry, or needed privacy or whatever they would say 'Go do your chores!'. I mean do they actually mean it literally or is it a catch all phase that can mean whatever you want it to mean, like -- 'if you know what I mean' ~ if you know what I mean. So are there any Americans in the house? Could you please tell me if your parent or you have actually used this phrase? I mean what do parents come up with? a list of chores, and provide hand outs and say 'Here's your chores?' What about prioritisation, rewards, succession and time management and additional tasks?. Do parents actually have time to come up with lists?

I thought one of the management rules was creating small achievable goals, like 'wash the dishes' and 'clean your room', not forgetting 'do your homework'. I mean even 'clean your room' was an insurmountable tasks that could rarely be completed without adult micro management and assistance, and even then when you got it done you would be rewarded with not washing the dishes for three days or something that seemed like a very long time.

So back to washing the dishes, now this is gonna seem sexist but women cannot wash dishes....properly. I have not until this day met a woman who can wash dishes. Sure they can wash a series of dishes in succession, but theres no 'dish management'!
They just pull out dishes out of the sink in whatever fashion they please, wash the front face and then just chuck them on the dish rack. There's no prioritisation, like washing from not oily to oily, so you don't get plastic cups smelling like curry, theres no series, like cup...glass...spoon...saucer...cup...cup... etc its just as she pleases. And what about space management when stacking, its like just anywhere.

How a woman stacks dishes...

Its just like err whatever.

How a man stacks dishes

Now everyone knows real men can wash dishes, cook and iron better than woman..... its just a fact of life, we just pretend to do it badly so we don't have to do it again..... however sometimes it is just so upsetting seeing badly stacked dishes, that are unstable and difficult to extract from the rack.

I like washing dishes, seeing dirty turning clean, helps clear your mind, a well stacked dish rack is like a Zen garden, its therapeutic. Not to mention you can turn off the world with a great wall..."Sorry honey... I'm washing the dishes right now.'
You cant beat that for 15 minutes of peace and quite. So what's my pet peeve? Please never never ever ever rinse the soap out of the sponge..... instead of a fluffy bubbly sponge now all you have is a cold wet floppy smelly thing..... and no-one likes a cold wet floppy smelly thing....

Are you chubby?

2008-07-07T09:19:00.000+08:00

Ok, ok... the blogs been slow, its that 'do it later' attitide of mine taking its toll, so I have decided that I will make the effort to eat my All-Bran and be regular. So are you chubby? Is that even a compliment? Would you buy or wear something branded 'chubby'? reaffirming your status as a chubster, or giving you a wrong body image if you are on the extremities of the chubster scale? , apparently someone somewhere thinks so so heres the proof....

Check out the nice line drawings of bras n panties, definitely not for the chubbies, quite cool, except the chubby part. I mean I'm all for aligning body images and anti-anorexia, but I would never buy anything branded chubby, skinny or whatever.....
OK rant over.. thats my post for today...

6

2008-07-06T15:32:00.002+08:00

Ive always been a fan of Peugeots, ever since I bought the 305 of my dad, even my favourite car is the 306 cabrio, which I will one day own, I did own a 206cc for a couple of years, but a white van got the better of me and thats that, you can catch how it all happened here. Unfortunately I haven't really learned my lesson and still drive like a I stole it, but I am definitely more sensible, in the fact that I still drive within my limits, and have learned to disregard testosterone induced driving. So I went to Kuala Kelawang, first time in 'the 6', officially it doesn't exist, so don't blabber to 'anyone' that I own it, as its supposed to be a sort of a present. Anyway if you ever get to Kuala Kelawang you must try thr Roti Love. Picture below, name is self explanatory, and that is how you will feel about it!

Now I do love the road to Kuala Kelawang and love 'B' road driving, and Pugs are the cars to do it in, so I did have a lot of fun, and it is completely insane, OK! OK! enthusiast will argue that a 5dr is not a 6, yes its a transplant, and the fact that a 306 hatch found me, was a feat in itself let alone a GTi-6. So its got the engine, and the nice 307cc wheels and stuff, and I am starting to think that it is a bit too much for me. It's just a monster! theres no electronic tricks, just a factory tuned engine and a wild tail. So heres the first spy shots, externally and engine wise its done, its off for leather seats and a nice DVD system next and then its done.

Summer's Rain

2008-06-16T15:14:00.000+08:00

Here I am, just got here, sure there was a couple of things to do, but procrastination helped delay my arrival. Maybe I didn't want to be here, It;s strange, you always see your parents as strong people who took care of you, and took care of your children, yet there she is, lying down, looking weak, and helpless, her big head of read hair now just a couple of silver strands, her hello barely audible, it might as well be someone else's voice, a room away. What do I do? What can I say? She wants some water, there's a mug, with a straw, its not a bendy straw... those are so much easier... I help her take a drink, the lights are off, I can't see the water in the white mug, she signals she can't get any water, I understand, I try get the position right... so many variables, the mug, the straw, the water, the angle, What if I spill it? What if I can't help her? Why is this so difficult? How come I can do this with my son but cant do it with my mom. Oh he's not sick... but the principal is the same, isnt it? The room is still dark, it been raining a few hours, rain and thunder, not that heavy rain that you can smell coming, that you can hear and feel, and know will wash your sadness away, just the rain that dribbles on and on, that when you drive, you can't see be cause it just dirties up your screen, blurring your vision, making you doubt yourself.

Her breathing is erratic, sometimes long deep breaths, sometimes short huffing breaths, she drops back into a sleep and I sit there in the dark figuratively and literally. I thought of putting together a photomosaic of Kimi and her, and take out my notebook and browse through the photos, there's not that many of her and Kimi, not that there was never that Kodak moment, but I'm not a big believer in cameras and photos. Ive always wanted to be part of the action, have the memories in my head, remember how I felt and not just sample a slice of time for relative infinity. It been a while tho, just as I have forgot the face of a few 'old friends', i still remember how I felt at the time. I'm trying to think, I'm trying to remember what she looked liked with hair, its beyond me now, she looks like what she looks like, because where she is now, who am I to remember her only for her better days, Maybe this is the moment that should be remembered, how I feel right now. I guess that's why you and I are here.... but why can't we be somewhere else? somewhere better? somewhere happier? My only answer can be because we are here now, the moment you are in is really all that exist. All slices of discreet time that can be captured with a camera and the only thing connecting these slices is the butter and jam, neoplasmic energy of what we can sense, that continues to exits throughout time, regardless of what it looked like, looks like and will look like. I like butter and jam..... and I haven't met anyone who doesn't, especially on a day like this.

The Saurus

2008-04-23T03:02:00.000+08:00

wow, I havent been here in a while, I tried to, but I'm a bit of a procrastinator, though actually that wouldn't be the right word, anyone have a theaurus? I believe its just physics, call it mental inertia, even just inertia, call it anything you want, the fact is that I haven't been updating my BLOG since January and now its April, well first there was Chinese New Year, and then there was the election, and then there was being locked up with two different clients for 4 weeks in a row, and then there was the week where everything at home turned all strange, like a bad trip on LSD, my wife discovered my blog, At first I didn't worry too much after all there is nothing about wild sex, booze and rock'n'roll all weekend parties or anything really, until she blurted out that she was upset that I insulted her mother, which was really strange to me coz I didn't think there was any cause to be upset about, I even read it again just to be sure, and of course if i tried hard to focus on one incidental side-plot of a long long rambling story about almost nothing and try and read the worst into it then sure, it is definitely possible to be upset.

Now of course, I could be just insensitive, which I'm not, I accepted and understood that she was upset, she had as much right to be upset, just as I have as much right to well..write in this blog. I personally thought it was unreasonable to have such a reaction, after all why didn't she focus on the positives, like I was busy and tired and still drove 300km? or that I was such a gracious 'guest' that it took you reading this blog to figure out what was even in my head? or even that you have the opportunity to have a glimpse on what is going on in there.

Now this of course put me off writing here, do I need to practice self censorship? do I have to walk on tippy toes within the confines of the screen as you read it? I didn't want to, after all this is MY space (not to be confused with myspace) and I'll cry if I want to. So here I am back again and ready to tell my stories wether anyone is listening or not is of course another matter.

So to clear the air and set the record straight...
"I'm sorry I saw your mother put her hand deep into a plastic of rubbish and without washing serve food, this has traumatized me, not to mention the three days of or the runnies (and squirties) that same weekend"

So there, finally its public. Which is exactly what is wrong with this planet, no one wants the truth, or even likes it, sure they say "Oh I appreciate your honesty" or "All I want is a man who can be honest with me" ah thats all bull crap, everyone wants to be lied to, to be told what they want to hear. I wish it wasn't this way, I really love honesty like if someone tells me I'm a dickhead, sure its upsetting for like all of two seconds, but then comes the time for self-reflection.

Oops, I see now... the truth requires self reflection, so if you dont like yourself, you have truth issues. hmmm I wonder what that would look like as a math formula. After all math is the truth, and if you dont like that well you can go the way of the dinosaurs. A from thesaurus to tyrannosuarus, haha now thats genius....

Ready, Set, Go!

2008-01-31T00:56:00.000+08:00

Damn its been a hard fought January, my boss at work decides to stop showing up, leaving me with a lot of suppliers waiting for their cheques, which is nothing really compared to finding out your mother has cancer, which happens to be the extremely fast propagating type, I of course use propagating rather than grow, as grow seems 'good'.

Now I happen to rely on my mum to pick up Kimi from nursery, and I do let her because its a great convenience for me, my mum enjoys her time with her only grandkid and he enjoys her company (read: money she spends on anything he asks for), so having her not so well with lots of doctors appointments, well I have to do what I'm supposed to do. Not that its hard work, contrary it is quite the opposite, but with several work deadlines looming large and no one in the office can get things to my level of expectations, losing several hours of work a day means you need to catch up, and maybe work through weekends and holidays except that I only have Sundays now and the wiill be away for the week of which she looses her phone, an N76 dropping it somewhere near our house, goes off to buy a N82, then just happens to get robbed at 'parang'point the very next day, losing her very new and shiny N82 and a fairly substantial amount of Ringgits. The robber is 'nice' enough to return her credit cards and IC and License, and not cut her up, all of this happening 4 hours before she is supposed to board a flight to Switzerland, leaving me alone with Kimi for several days that seem like months. On her return her car still not painted, which means I need to ferry her about, which isn't bad except she decides to treat me like shit because 1. she has jetlag and has been on a plane for 12 hours and 2. her car paint isn't done and 3, she got robbed, which when you think about it none of which is my fault and this jetlag seems to be dragging on for almost a week now. January is of course coming to an end and I was hoping things would taper off but a very pissed of client, of course it wasn't me who pissed them off, it was my boss coz well he just pisses everyone off, has decided to give us 8 hours notice to start work, in three different states, two being in East Malaysia further adding to my 'wheres the money woes' and the finance manager is well, 'not coming back for a while' leaving lil ol me to get everyones salary done. I was just beginning to enjoy my latest salary increase, although two years overdue, was fairly substantial for the work I was 'doing'. Now most people would be sad and depressed, and as you know I have experienced the seven levels of sadness, and can only 'rejoice' that, 1. my mum is still alive and in fighting spirits, 2. My wife is still alive, though I might not feel that way for long if she keeps acting like I stole her damn phone and 3. None of the above shit actually happened to me, it happened to people close to me, which I have all the empathy for of course, but not actually to me, meaning that I should be happy because 1. I dont have cancer, 2. I didnt get robbed, 3. I dont have any car loans 4. I still have my phone and 5. I had the best week with Kimi spending lots of time with him.

Now this may seem out of character to someone who is melancholic and depressive, which really I am, maybe I am secretly bathing in the misfortune of others, maybe I have learned to cope and fight, or maybe I'm cured. I dont know, you tell me, Im past self reflection, let others judge me.

Now everyone has the benefit of hindsight, few have foresight, I can tell you that I do, not because I like to brag or feel special but because I do. We know are parents are going to die on us, we know we will die on our children, life is short as it is, its time to stop being angry at the people we love and care about. Now of course this realization is indeed a license to live as we please, in the moment, and only care about ourselves. Living in the moment? fine all good with that, but lets make each moment one where others who know us are proud and those who don't, respect.

Hello, Goodbye

2008-01-02T04:13:00.000+08:00

O wow, its 2008, 2007 is over, and what a year was that, well just like every year of my existence it was one helluva roller-coaster ride. Unfortunately I have had to say goodby to a longtime loyal friend. She served me well, throughout the years, being there for me whenever I needed her, but the time ha come to go our separate ways. After all she is better off with someone who needs her, appreciates her and will spend tim with her. So of course the only proper send off is with some Power Ballad lyrics and a dedication.

Goodbye My Friend

Dokken

I tried to say, didn't love you, or need you

Tried to believe didn't want you too

Same old song, we try to hold on

Stillin the end we try to move on

So goodbye my friend

It was good to get to see you again

If this is the end

Please don't try and make me love you again

Tried to believe had an answer too

Wasn't just me that believed in you

As I look back I see what you knew

It's better for me, it's better for you

So good bye my friend

It was good to get to see you again

If this is the end

Please don't try and make me love you again

I was wrong to carry on

Still in the end we try to move on

So goodbye my friend

It was good to get to see you again

If this is the end

Please don't try and make me love you again

if this is the end ..........

Migraines & alcohol don't mix

2007-12-22T00:38:00.000+08:00

Ha ha what a crazy couple of days, got a ring last wednesday from clients somewhere in europe that they'll be going on holiday from friday (yesterday, just now) until the new year which basically changes our deadline fro 31st Dec to 21st December, which now that I'm thinking about is is actually 10days.

I can live with deadlines, heck I live for deadlines, without deadlines, me the master of procrastination would get nothing done, but sudden jumps in goalposts well make you feel like you hit your head on one, which is the reason why I dont like soccer, coz its really painful, anyway this woudn't otherwise be a problem, except everyone is still working on the document, and I'm going on 'holidays' too. So I need to take a copy of everything and take it with me to work on it, which is again not the problem, the problem is by the time I finished doing what I do, and get home its 2.31am, and now I have to pack and drive 3-4 hours to Taiping and stay at the MiL's for the next few days, and that my dear watson.... is the problem.

Err which one is it, you may ask, and the question though singular is a compound answer.

Lets see.

Not sleeping and driving 300+km from 4:00 - 7:00 am is a problem.

Staying at the MiLs is a problem, not for any other reason than starvation. Its not that she's a bad cook, or the choice of ingredients. Its just an amalgamation of no vegetables, constant cross contamination and strange mix of whats on the table and not knowing how long its been there. Now you are reading this and think I'm a hoity toity fella with his nose on a different planet, namely Uranus, but trust me, it doesn't have to be Kobe beef. Fleshly caught ikan sepat lemak cili api, pucuk pakis and some sambal belacan would serve me well. The important thing its freshly cooked, as opposed to 'not freshly cooked' and also 'freshly overcooked'. Again yes I can cook myself but I'd have to wash everything again coz everything is just greasy and oily and there would be no vegetables in the fridge except maybe an old carrot and half a tomato from my last visit.

Again this isn't the point, the point is yes I finished the documents just in time, after not getting much sleep on Thursday, and trying to get my work done the thursday night, opening my laptop, looking at the documents and promptly falling asleep, and sleep being a beautifying thing, of course I'm worth it, leaving me Just about a couple of hours on Friday to get it done.

Now in all this there is one thankful thing to be happy about, timezones. I can work all day on Friday and wrap up by 5, 6, 7, even 8:00pm and its still am in Europe and of course everything is going fine an dandy until Maxis decided they dont want their 3G/GPRS to not work anymore. Now a call to their ever helpful customer service, which is the only reason I stick with them, they tell me "yes we're having some problems", now of course this could be tech speak for, "you have been using to much bandwidth and were cutting you off" or it really could be a fault, so off I go with minutes to spare to find an internet cafe, which I really hate coz its just a network game cafe, and get a PC thats so old it doesn't have USB port on the front, and uses a Network Card rather than have it on board. Of course I have my USB drive, try and spin the PC around and look for where to stick it and the RJ-45 pops out. hmmm after some dusty hands, my corporate mail server being extra slow I get it out, with only supreme divine intervention allowing me to save the e-mail address in my handphone, where everything is in my notebook.

Now some people may say that sounds like pretty bad luck, but experience tells me, if everything ends up ok, that pretty good damn luck, and thats something to smile about. With my luck.... something to smile about is a big event, almost had the champagne out (metaphorically this time), but I got hit by a sudden super migraine just as I was leaving the Internet Cafe...... and everyone know alcohol and migraines don't mix.

2007-12-12T00:20:00.001+08:00

Anyway was bz all last week, went to LIMA 07, if it wasnt for the series of things going wrong, I would have been there. Now lets see, we had a demo system from our principal arrive on a Friday afternoon, which took me 3 trips to KLIA Cargo just to get on another plane to Langkawi. Not to mention that my 'boss' gave me the cheque for all expenses that same afternoon. Talk about scrambling to get things done, had to cash the cheque, put money in the bank to transfer to everyone, then put the rest into my card so I could finally pay for all the flights.

So after working all weekend to get everyone ready, and I get the first people onto flights, no sooner than they touchdown in LGK, the problems are starting to compound. ah more tomorrow.

Hello World!

2007-12-12T00:10:00.000+08:00

oh what a geek am I, finally after thinking about it, and procrastinating for eons, I have finally created 'the blog'. I was going to start it when I got my macbook and a .mac account, but I'm not going to pay money for this stuff, well nothing more than what pen and paper costs anyway. So here I am hopefully I wont be so manic depressive as I usually am as things are definately looking up. Well after hitting rock bottom, there really is no where else to go.

OK see you soon, once I figure out how to get my photos from iphoto into flickr/photobucket then things will be more interesting